The Secret to Contentment
“Just ready for this to be over.” That was what my friend said after summing up all the things going relatively well in his life during this season of staying home and quarantining. He summed up perfectly how I was feeling and, I think, how many of us are probably feeling this week. I’ve heard of this dynamic referred to as “mitigation fatigue.”
Eager to protect ourselves and others, we all have embraced social distancing, limited group size, and stay at home orders. We got excited about ways to keep things interesting in our lives. My kids were committed to doing a daily video log of their descent into isolation madness that lasted about a week before the novelty wore off. I committed to being fully present in all my online meetings and not letting proximity slow ministry progress, but I began feeling pretty “Zoomed out” after the first two weeks of working from home.
Basically, the adrenaline of adapting to change wore off. My family is good, the church is good, work carries on, but… I, like my friend, am just ready for this to be over.
Since recognizing myself in my friend’s remark, I have wondered what it looks like to wrestle well with the "I am over it" feelings. I don't think the best response is to stuff the feelings (though I wish that worked!), but I also know that it will help no one to let the feelings drive our actions. If our feelings of being “over it” drive our actions, then our actions will battle or deny the reality that “it” is not over. It is better for our actions to remain anchored in reality and that we learn how to train our feelings accordingly.
Paul speaks a bit about this struggle in Philippians 4 where he talks about how contentment has been a learned behavior played out in a variety of circumstances. He dispels early the idea that contentment is achieved via our satisfaction with our circumstances. The myth that our level of contentment is directly correlated to our circumstances is pervasive in our culture, but Paul is quick to disassociate his sense of contentment from his circumstances. He doesn’t deny his circumstances, he just simply acknowledges that he doesn’t depend on them for his sense of well-being.
Instead of depending on his circumstances for his contentment, Paul instead notes in short order two important ingredients or factors for contentment (Philippians 4:12).
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Contentment is learned. We have a role to play in our own contentment. Learning is a choice.
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There is a secret to contentment.
There is a secret?! Well, I want to know what that is! Do tell.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” —Philippians 4:12-13
The big secret is this: It takes more than our strength to be content. We achieve contentment by learning how to draw on the strength of him who, Paul states a few verses later, "will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).
Now here is the key for me (and maybe you) to remember this week. My natural impulse in drawing on the strength of God is to petition for rescue. But what is a plea for rescue? It is a plea for a change in circumstances. If I am asking to be rescued from my circumstances, then it may be that I have not yet learned the secret. A change in circumstances is not the secret to contentment—Paul makes that clear.
The secret to contentment is trusting God's strength to meet my needs in my circumstances. While rescue is the promise of eternity, it is his presence in our circumstances that is the miracle—the mystery—of what Jesus did through his death and resurrection.
It’s still unclear exactly how the next few weeks or months will look for any of us. My job moving forward is not to try to wish away this reality, but to live in it with contentment that has learned to draw on the strength of the One who loved us enough to jump into our circumstances with us and is strong enough to sustain us in the present.
My guess is that at some point all of us will have our "just ready for this to be over" moments. In those moments, let's not shut down and demand rescue but instead, let us learn to draw on God’s strength so we can be fully present, fully content, and fully available to be used however he chooses.
John Parker is the lead pastor at Summit Church. He enjoys woodworking and boats and dreams of building his own boat in the coming years.